March 16, 2016

By Laura Stassi

In honor of Spring Break, I offer the following actual conversations between two 13-year-old girls vacationing together several summers ago:

“I’m not going to put on any suntan lotion.”

“Actually, you get a better tan if you use lotion.”

“You do?  Why?”

“Um, I don’t remember. This other girl told me that. I think it’s because – you know how bacon turns out better when it’s cooked slower?”

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“My mom eats yogurt.”

“Same.”

“She mixes it with cereal and fruit.”

“Same! When I’m a mom, I’m not eating ‘mom food.’ I’m eating at McDonald’s every day.”

“Same.”

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“I went through a metal stage.”

“Oh, really? What did you listen to?”

“I don’t know. Random songs from my brother’s iPod.”

“Was it scream-o?”

“I don’t know.”

“Because I listen to metal a lot.”

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“Do you want to see the Sex and the City movie?”

“No. It has a wiener in it. My mom saw it on opening night.”